REVIEW: ‘JeruZalem’ (2015)

JeruZalemTitle: ‘JeruZalem’
2015, Israel
Director: Doron Paz & Yoav Paz
Cast: Danielle Jadelyn, Yael Grobglas, Yon Tumarkin

I think it’s time I admit I have a problem: I’m in an abusive relationship with found footage horror movies. Every time I let myself be convinced that maybe for once it’ll be different, that it won’t be like swallowing rotten garbage. And every time this kind of shitty movies kick me in my cinephile nuts.

‘JeruZalem’ incorporates all the worst elements that could plague an horror film in this age of complete lack of creativity. It’s got one-dimensional, stereotypical characters ridiculously played by Israeli actors who probably hoped for some international exposure only to find themselves to have to act tedious dialogues and illogical decisions in what will be the lowest point in their career. A story that is beyond derivative, basically an incoherent jumble of sequences stolen from better movies, with not a single original idea to be found. It’s all there, everything that makes you wish you had done literally anything else with those 90 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.

Moviemakers of the world, I’m sending you a message: enough with this found footage crap.

☆☆☆☆☆ (yes, that’s correct: 0 stars out of 5)

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