REVIEW: ‘San Andreas’ (2015)

San AndreasTitle: ‘San Andreas’
2015, USA
Director: Brad Peyton
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario

There is a limit after which a mindless-entertainment flick becomes pure mind-boggling dumbness. And ‘San Andreas’ crosses that limit over and over again, until your brain just can’t take it anymore.

I’ll start from the one good thing this movie can offer: really nice special effects. If you enjoy watching buildings fall apart (in the tradition of masterpieces like ‘2012’), than ‘San Andreas’ will blow you away. End sarcasm here.

The writers probably felt that an actual plot would confuse their target audience, so they didn’t even bother trying to come up with one. The same goes for the characters, paper-thin walking clichés that are even less believable than the absurd action sequences or the abominable dialogues they are put through. Needless to say, it will take you less than a minute to easily predict which ones are going to survive to the end.

With these premises, it’s not surprising that the cast goes through the motions with the same conviction and enthusiasm you’d put in hammering your own genitals. It’s embarrassing to think that the best performance in the whole movie was delivered by 14-year-old Art Parkinson.

What I hated the most about ‘San Andreas’, though, was its pornography of disaster. The movie does absolutely nothing to create even the slightest emotional connection with what passes in front of your eyes. For almost two hours, you’ll be watching hundreds of thousands of people being wiped out by natural catastrophies like you’d watch an anthill getting destroyed by a stroppy child.

★☆☆☆☆

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